As we quickly make our way through July I find myself reflecting on the sliver of time that I guess I’m supposed to refer to as “summer”. And though I’m just settling into my 20’s, I have already seen patterns in my behavior emerging. In fact, these patterns don’t just belong to me. It seems like they belong to almost everyone else I know that is my age. Odds are, if you’re born before 1995 and anything like me, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
- Swimsuit browsing. Always under the (incorrect) assumption that i’ll be wearing at least one size smaller by full fledged bikini time. (Also can we talk about how Victoria’s Secret lowkey just decided to pull out of the bathing suit game and tell none of us?)
- Purchasing altogether way too many white dresses. And no, I’m neither a bride nor graduate. Just an attendee that can’t possibly miss an opportunity to shop.
- Perusing the instagrams of women I both silently love and hate. You know, the ones with the perfect lips and millions of followers. Just looking around…keeping tabs…screenshoting poses I can’t pull off and planning my future instagram stunts…
- Coordinating with all 4 of my friends about who is going to be where (Spoiler alert: we will all be in different cities and the big sisterhood of the traveling pants reunion is postponed until we break out of our current income bracket)
- Frantically searching hotels with ~trendy~ rooftop pools in your city so that you can casually sit next to them without actually, you know, having to pay for a room
- SIMULTANEOUSLY fiercely rejecting invitations to 2pm Wednesday “pool parties” which are actually just an hour and a half of silent group instagram browsing at the apartment of a friend of a friend.
- Oh, and by the way, you don’t know ANY of the girls there (except this one girl that you met drunk in a bathroom one time). And to make things even worse, they watch all the wrong netflix shows. Odds are they even play the curated “Summer Vibes” playlist on Spotify. Through $20 waterproof speakers nonetheless. Good god.
- Planning a ~weekend away~ with your best friend only to realize that the few places you can both afford to go are neither very different nor much more fun than where you already are
Oh. What was that? That doesn’t sound familiar?
Yeah. Thats right.
See, that was summer at 19, but shits changed. Here’s what a true 20-something summer looks like:
- Waking up every day and wearing a skirt or dress to the office knowing DAMN well you’re going to be spending 8 hours in sub 60 degrees. Regretting it, checking prices for under desk heaters on amazon on the clock, vowing to wear pants the next day, waking up, doing the exact same thing again.
- Driving in mysterious midday traffic just to park a good 5 minute walk from work. Melting on the way there.
- Vowing to run, but then deciding its way too fucking hot to run. Agreeing to just go to the gym, but then finding out there are altogether way too many people there, like 24/7. Trying to diet but then realizing you’re too poor and lazy to do that. Ultimately just deciding you don’t care at all, and laying down like you should have in the first place.
- Practicing positive self talk while looking at an over $100 electric bill- thinking about how many more times a month you could eat out if you could maybe just go without air conditioning and acclimate to your apartment that doubles as a 700 sq ft sauna
- Texting everyone you know to make plans the second you’re off of work just to realize that like, everyone else has jobs too and kinda just wants to watch netflix in silent, cold solitude
- Realizing you’re an adult now and “summer” doesn’t exist. There are hot months, cold months, and medium months. That is, unless you live in LA. Then there are only hot months.
The golden days may be over, but at least we have each other. And the internet.
Speaking of, what did our 20 something parents do without the internet??
Oh yeah, have babies, mow the lawn of the houses they bought on their own (HA!), and go out for some good-hearted fun- ya know the kind without the creeping thoughts of unemployment, student loans, and ever-rising housing costs.
At least we have trap music.